Speak to me baby

I love the American language....it's so basic, but at the same time really complex.There can be so many ways to use a word or punctuation that if you're coming from another country and learning American English...you can get really confused, really fast. Just look at the word THERE.....orrrr THEIR....and don't forget THEY'RE. They all sound identical and are spelled pretty similarly...but totally different meanings. CON-FU-SING!! .......ummmmm....if you're a non American reading that last word.....don't memorize it like that.....that's a whole other thing to mess with your translating head. :)
Then of course you have punctuation.....oh boy.....if you get the spellings and meanings of words down....you're only half way there. The next thing to mess with you is our punctuation.
Oh wow...there are just too many ways this could be screwed up to even mention. For the sake of grandparents everywhere...please, at least learn how to use commas. 

THEN......to top it all off.....there's the unwritten inflection. You know....that thing that gets you in trouble when you type something in an email and the person reading it gets offended because they think you were being mean when you called them " a snarky faced skank that smells like swamp water on a good day and on a bad day could drop flies with their underarm fungus...."   ..........Actually.....there probably isn't a way to add enough inflection on that one to make it sound nice.....which means you probably WERE being mean...wow, you can be a real jerk! What's WRONG with you?!?!!?  HEHEHEHEHE.......Anyway,here's an example of inflection....


The bad......."Ohhhh you've really stepped in it NOW"
The good.........."What did YOU step in today?" \
The ugly....... "WHAT did I just STEP in?!?!?!?"

One of those means the person being called a snarky faced skank is upset with you. One of them means you probably won the lottery....and the other one means you should probably clean up after your dog before walking in the back yard.

Now.....let's see how many of you were sharp enough to catch my own grammar mistakes. :)


Love and Alphabet Soup,
Belda