Sunday, May 13, 2012

A Close Shave

I hate shaving. I like men to shave of course......but as a female, I hate shaving. Yeah, I have a double standard...I admit it, what's your point? I'm sorry, but shaving is a pain, and it takes too long. European women don't shave...well some of them don't. Granted most of them are named Magda and have one massive un-plucked eyebrow that spans from the left temple to the right temple...but that isn't the point. European women are mysterious and romantic..aren't they? They must be, isn't that why men do all that mail order bride stuff? Apparently men don't care if a woman has the pelt of a small woodland animal growing underneath her armpit or leg hair so long that you could braid daisy chains into it. Maybe having a furry woman draws out their inner caveman...makes them crave eating raw meat and grunting.
 Am I so wrong to want a man to grab me like Agnes grabbed that stuffed unicorn in the movie Despicable Me and scream in unbridled passion..."..She's soooo fluffy I'm going to die!!!"
Stroking a leg that's all prickly from new growth isn't romantic. Those little things are so sharp you could shred paper with them! Unless your husband likes to make love to a porcupine it just doesn't add to the moment. Hmm...that's got to be illegal in a few states....anyway....we can all agree those hairless cats are ugly as shouldn't men feel the same about us? 
I wish.
Oh well, I guess I'm just ahead of my time, yeah that's it. Meanwhile, this wild trendsetter has to go shave her legs so she can wear a skirt tomorrow.

Love and Stiptic Pencils,